Top 10 Benefits of Quitting Social Media
Quitting social media for 18 months (January 2021-July 2022) was a personal choice I am very proud of. At the time it seemed drastic, and I had many questions of how it would effect my relationships, my day-to-day life, and my mental health.
But I was desperate, and I felt a tiny, hope-filled invitation to just give it a try!
I initially set out to spend just one year, all of 2021, off social media, but by the end of the year, I was so content and settled in life without it, it seemed easier to just keep right on going! It was no longer about life without social media, it was just life. My life. And feeling really in it!
Throughout my time I wrote several posts about how I felt and what I experienced. Check those out here!
I’m Taking a Year Off Social Media
On Being Off Socials, How It’s Going So Far
3 Month Social-Media-Free Update
I’ve Never Felt More Beautiful
6 Month Social-Media-Free Update
Here are my top 10 takeaways on life without social media!
You miss less than you think you will. One of my biggest trepidations about quitting social media was the fear of missing out. I didn’t want to be the one person that didn’t know what other people were talking about, or to miss out on things that family and close friends were posting (like their kiddos, projects, or thoughts.) But honestly? Once I let people know I wouldn’t be on socials, they didn’t expect me to know! And they were happy to fill me in in person. All the other stuff, especially from people I don’t know in person, I really didn’t need to know. Talk about an immediate boost of quiet and calm! So much less noise!
Your friendships and relationships will improve. That’s right. The thing that I thought might be affected in a negative way was actually one of the main things that majorly benefitted. Because I didn’t have a birds-eye view into everyone’s life, I was tasked to reach out directly if I wanted to connect with someone. And when I did connect, I could start from square one, without knowing any social-media-derived tidbits of their life. It was so refreshing. Also, when I connected with family or friends, I was all in on that moment, face to face. It wasn’t about how I would document it — it was about being together.
You’ll feel more freedom. This looked like less having to “keep up” with lifestyle trends — for me those were clothing, home interiors, parenting, and seeing what friends were doing without me. Without any need to document, I was free to move about the cabin of my life exactly how I wanted and needed to. I started making decisions based on what I decided would be best for me and my family. This practice helped me to listen to myself better. Without the extra noise of others’ lives, I became more attuned to my own voice, needs, and desires again. From there, I was better able to validate those things to myself.
You’ll sleep better. It’s true. Without the weight of the thoughts, actions, opinions, and goings-on of hundreds of people constantly playing through my mind, I found it infinitely easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. Without social media, it wasn’t hard to just set my phone down before getting ready for bed, and not pick it up again until the next morning. The whole “getting ready for bed” routine was pretty effortlessly phone-free, and included things like my nightly candle-and-shower, lotioning up, a big glass of water, and reading. Just me, my thoughts, John, and sweet sweet sleep.
You’ll experience less anxiety. Unmistakably the most notable, and immediate, difference for me. I think what this really stemmed from was an immediate release of the “should be” voice in my head. I should be taking a picture or video of this… I should be posting it… I should be posting this like so-and-so… I should know what so-and-so is up to…you know, this need to capture and prove my worth, time, and connectedness in some way. I called it life without the fourth wall (if you have any theater in your background, you know the fourth wall is the imaginary wall of the stage into which the audience looks and towards which the actors play) and that’s exactly what it was! Just life being lived, non-performative. It’s funny, how proving our connectedness can make ourselves, and others, feel so much less connected.
You’ll feel more present. It took some time, but I really felt a breakthrough once I realized that I didn’t have that constant voice in my head pressuring me to document moments throughout my day (before I missed them!) I was allowed to just live them. Oh my goodness, what a relief! Suddenly it wasn’t about doing things that would make cute instagram moments, but doing things that felt right for myself and my family in that moment. Instead of using those moments to potentially prove something to the people on Instagram, I was just there, looking at my kids faces, or cleaning dishes, or sitting on the porch — doing something wonderful, hard, boring, embarrassing, or normal. This actually helped me to like myself more, in all my normal-ness, with all the same human needs as everyone else, instead of constantly feeling like I am not enough or not doing enough.
You’ll hear your own voice. I mentioned this a little before, but without the constant on-stream of other people’s thoughts and reels and captions and projects and families, I was freed up to just listen to myself. What do I need right now? What would make today the most helpful day for me and my family? What are the most important things to me that I want to accomplish? It was this huge SLASH of all that extra noise that would suck time from my day and energy from my heart and mind. As I began to ask myself things — what do you need most right now, Sam? — I got used to verbalizing things to myself, I got used to my own voice, and I started actually voicing her to myself and my family and friends. I like her. She’s pretty cool.
You’ll gain some perspective. Let’s be honest — social media runs on drama. Even the term “viral” implies a sense of craze with tidal waves of did-you-see? But the truth is that so much of the activity, viral topics, and things that feel so important in the moment on social media are just blips in time, and they’re not that important. Getting your head out of the fog of likes, comments, responses, and all-knowing/all-access/all-the-time really gives some perspective on what actually matters in life.
Your wants, dreams, talents, and desires will come more into focus. It is so easy to be distracted by what others are doing, achieving, and posting. This is no dis on anyone who is showing up on socials with their projects, revelations, or talents. But having a constant (like, multiple hours each day) look at others’ activities often takes us away from our own. Being off social media really helped me to recover some of those loves that felt lost, and remember why I like to make beautiful things, and why it’s important, whether people see it or not.
You’ll experience a sense of having more time in general. Less filler in your days = a greater sense of having time. Isn’t that all what we want a little more of? When you feel as if you have more time, you feel more relaxed. You allow yourself the joy of doing things just for fun, like reading a magazine or a good book. You begin to dream again, because there isn’t so much pressure to go onto the next most-needed to-do. It was like having a pressure-valve released in my life, and suddenly, instead of plummeting into free-time with exhausted desperation, clinging to my phone before the next baby needed me, my free-time became something more effortless and altogether more productive, as it turns out.
I’m back on social media for right now…
If you follow me on Instagram (or ye olde sociale media shoppe Facebook) you may have noticed an uptick in my activity on the apps recently. While I aim to live a mostly social media free lifestyle, I do have some creative projects coming up that I’m very excited about sharing.
I knew even 1.5 years ago that I’d likely utilize social media again to leverage some momentum for creative projects. The goal being: connect the right people to the meaningful art that will move them, whether that’s creative directing, writing, or music.
And one thing I know is this: people just like when they have a little peek into your life. They understand you a little more in the context of your home, your family, and your comings and goings (that is, the bits you show them). They trust you a little more.
And as Sadie Huff recently said about her social media use, she shows up with the intent to give, not to receive. That’s how I want to move forward.
I will say that these top 10 benefits have helped me immensely as I’ve navigated back into life with social media. They’ve helped me keep some pretty strong internal and external boundaries regarding the apps, which has helped keep my overall health in check.
Tell me…
have you ever taken an intentional break off social media?
How did it feel? What were your biggest takeaways?
Do you think living a social media free life is possible?
