Adjusting to Being a Family of Four (+ Newborn Session with Elizabeth Tate)

Hello, my friends!

I hope this post finds you well, gearing up for the holidays and getting a moment to take a deep breath in gratitude.

I’m siting outside at a local coffee shop, and the leaves are in fine form today here in Raleigh. They are in golden blaze, falling from the trees like confetti in celebration of the coming holidays.

It’s hard for me to believe that my son is already three months old. He’s getting bigger and stronger, and it’s like he’s always been here in our family, like I’ve always known him.

While Griffin is undoubtedly John’s mini and my gritty, sensitive ride-or-die, I see so much of my own face looking back at me in Smith. He is my little kindred. What a gift.

Right now our days are still somewhat unpredictable, but we are settling into a sort of rhythm. John is hard at work, and we are dreaming up some business ventures, laying the foundation for our next steps in family legacy. Griffin is in preschool (at the church I grew up going to and still have so much love for) three days a week. It suits her personality and needs so well — she has a huge social love bucket that needs filling, so her preschool routine makes her very happy! And it gives me a moment to do things I need to do, too.

Much of my day looks like handling the kiddos — getting them dressed, fed, cleaned up and diapered, entertained, held, and cared for — keeping the home going, making meals, and arranging our comings and goings.

I’ll be honest. Even though I’ve long waited and hoped for these days, there are moments it feels like drudgery and I think to myself I didn’t get a degree in this! I don’t know what I’m doing! How does anyone handle all of this?! I look at these images and know they are worth every moment of it. They are embodiments of God’s faithfulness!

Still, I wonder how many women before me have felt the same thing. A sense of shock, and bewilderment at how hard it really is.

I wonder how my generation deals with the dichotomy of female empowerment and independence, and the gaping reality that someone needs to be in the house because food and cleaning are necessary for, well, living. There is also something warm, healing, and right about a home that is well cared for, one with someone inside organizing its ways. We just don’t place a high value on learning the skills required in that role all along. The concept of Home Economics makes so much more sense to me now!

I believe there is an intricate art and immense skill required to do homemaking well, and I want to show up for it! Even so, in this season I can’t help but feel undervalued and unseen, not by John, but just the world, I guess. I’ve been sucked into the mommy-housework tunnel of uncoolness, and the reality is, I can’t do it all! I need Jesus now more than ever, and He is a really kind, really close friend!

He sees it all, and it is treasure in His kingdom.

It’s treasure in the hearts of my children, treasure that will anchor and blossom in the decades to come, in the history that isn’t yet.

So my days have looked like that. I’m crying out to Jesus for help, crafting precious memories, discovering my new identity, strengthening my character, and yielding to the process in surrender which is my worship these days.

I’m holding babies and making meals, cleaning floors and folding laundry. Some days I feel like I’m winning, and others I feel like I’ve barely got my head above water.

And I still want to write and make music and be a good friend, wife, sister, and mother! I want to laugh more than I complain. I want to sleep (LOL!) and embrace the moments when that’s not available to me.

I want Griffin and Smith to remember feeling safe and loved. I want them to remember having so much fun!

Griffin is absolutely in love with Smith, and very quickly understood the concept of being gentle with him, giving him kisses on his head and rubbing his arms and legs. She squeals with delight when she sees him first thing in the morning! When I ask, “where’s brother?” she points right at him! I cannot wait to see their sibling friendship grow. Making siblings is magical!

Veteran mamas, what are your thoughts on this tunnel of being a mom to small kiddos? Any tips or encouragements?

Thank you so much again to my dear friend Elizabeth Tate for capturing this moment in time in our little family!

All my love,

Sam

P.S. To see our pancake breakfast maternity photos with Elizabeth, click here!