A Simple, Mindful Holiday
I love the holidays. I love Hallmark movies and decorating and eating great food. There’s also spending time with family, listening to Christmas music, wishing for snow, wrapping presents, and making pies and cookies!
It all sounds so romantic, and believe me, I am the first one to lean all the way into that mindset! But there is totally a chaotic, frustrating underbelly to all things #holidayseason, am I right?
It seems inevitable. Family tensions, unreasonable social schedules, feelings of obligation, crazed shopping dashes, spending too much, and resting too little. It usually involves me crying in my PJs at 10:45 PM while putting the pie in the oven, wondering WHY I insisted on making my own crust! (John can attest that this has happened to me more than once.)
Every year around this time, I look ahead in my calendar and take a deep breath. I imagine what changes I might be able to make to simplify the upcoming holiday season and make it even more meaningful for myself, John, and our families. Having even a small plan allows me to walk into the season with a sense of intention and clarity, instead of just letting the season happen to me.
Here are some of my best tangible tips to help you have a more simple, mindful holiday this year. Grab a cuppa and see what you might want to implement!
Plan ahead
Prioritizing ahead of time helps me to remember what is truly necessary and important when things get a little crazy. It’s a small, intentional investment ahead of time that makes such a huge difference! Planning ahead helps me to give a better, quicker no to things that I may want to do, but would end up overwhelming me in the busyness of the season.
Take a quick moment and write down the main things you wish for the holidays. Quality time with family? To make a festive pie? To have a special Christmas morning moment with just your immediate family?
Then, go ahead and write down the things you know you have to do between now and Christmas day. Plan for the time it takes to pick out gifts and wrap them. Go ahead and restock on your gift wrap supplies and Scotch tape. Consider the extra grocery runs that will require a bit more time and a more detailed list for those goodies you’re going to make.
Then, fill in your calendar with the events you’ll definitely be a part of, like holiday family reunions or your church’s Christmas concert. When you see your days beginning to have names and tasks attached to them, it will help you plan out your necessary shopping/wrapping/cleaning/decorating times accordingly.
With the days that are left on your calendar, go ahead and put some of your “wish list” activities in those spaces! Do you need a half day to make cookies for your neighbors? Pencil that in! If those activities need to adjust, no worries. But seeing it in a time spot will help you maintain a sense of calm and control, and remind you that you and your time have limits.
Get inspired
I am a super visual person, and I think using visual inspiration for the holidays can help bypass the logistics and connect you more quickly to that little, excited kid in your heart! I have a Pinterest board for each season, and I love perusing magazines to get seasonal inspiration. Even looking up Instagram hashtags or accounts can be helpful.
Yes, these images usually depict ideals (see below). But I think connecting yourself to your ideals helps create a more self-loving and self-aware mindset, especially during a crazy time. No one else is going to do that for you.
Voice your ideals
Speaking of ideals - here is your permission to let yourself go there! Go ahead and jot down those ideals you have for the season, or speak them out to your spouse, roommate, or BFF. I know this bucks up against the self-protection mode of releasing all expectations, but I think we need to take some of those daydreams back! Is it a family PJ movie night with popcorn and hot chocolate? Is it throwing a holiday gathering for your closest friends? Is it giving back to your community in some way?
There is something empowering about letting yourself think romantically about the season, and making small but certain efforts to create those memories for yourself and your loved ones.
Challenge the expected
What are those things every year that you know will end up on your calendar during the holidays? They could be obligations or traditions that have lasted through the years and have become a staple.
I invite you to take a good look at those things you’re expected to be a part of and adjust them if it’s time! Challenge why you do them, and how they could be different to more healthily fit your current season and situation. Then gather up some bravery (with the extra leverage of plenty of advanced notice) and suggest something a little different this year.
Say No
It’s a season of giving and family and friends and togetherness! But do you ever get to the end and feel like that was the least restful season ever? I’ve gotten to January and felt like I needed a holiday from the holidays. When you have a clear plan, you know what you can say your hearty YES to, and which things don’t quite fit this time around. A timely “no” is kind, and you can still express your love in other ways!
protect margin time
Yes, like I said before, plan for margin time! You’ll need it! And believe me, it will get filled up, but hopefully with things that are just the necessary parts of life like laundry, groceries, cleaning, and giving some YESes to things that bring you joy! You may not know what your margin time will be used for now, but rest assured, your future self will thank your present self for planning out some margin time!
The B Word
Budget! Ok, I saved the least fun for last! I think all of us take a deep breath and gulp while facing the hurricane of purchases about the make landfall over our bank account. And then we’re left with the mess afterward, perhaps with a side dish of regret and “how did it get this way?!” But I’m here to say it doesn’t have to be that way.
Every year, John and I set an amount we will spend on each other for Santa gifts and stockings. Both of our families draw names for gifts given amongst the siblings, a change that was made as more and more family members were added to the mix. Those gifts have a spending limit of $40 per gift. For each family, we separately buy gifts for the parents, and keep the spending limit the same. If we want to purchase something for the kiddos, we keep is super simple, around $5-10. So, for each family, we spend around $200 (Sam gift for sibling $40, John gift for sibling $40, our gift for mom $40, our gift for dad $40, various kids gifts $40.)
Having those expectations out there helps us to prepare financially ahead of time, and also to make wish lists that are within those parameters. Is there a spending limit or gift drawing you can implement in your families?
Also consider the extra money needed for a more robust grocery and decorations budget. We all run to the grocery store about 100 times through the holidays to get just one more cheese ball, one more box of butter (how did I run out again?!), and another bottle of wine so we don’t show up to the party empty-handed. John and I also purchase a tree and fresh garland each year, which is something we consider in our budget.
Yep, it’s not a ton of fun facing the music ahead of time, but again, your future self will thank your present self for doing the hard work. No need to cry into your empty wallet come January! Go ahead and give your dollars a name and a purpose.
Did you skim through that list and think, “um Sam - this is not simple! It sounds like a lot of hard work!”
Correct, it takes planning ahead to enjoy that simplicity, because it is so counter to our culture!
But I promise that small investment ahead of time will be a gift to yourself over and over as the days fly by leading up to Christmas and the New Year. Make a path for yourself that feels a bit straighter, simpler, and more joy-filled this season.
And when it still gets crazy or overwhelming? There’s enough grace for you, for me, and for everyone else!
Here’s to living in that grace this Holiday Season,
Sam
